Self Shellfish Love Emails TooIsn’t it all just “me me me”?  You know what I mean right?  I mean, no matter who you talk to, no matter what you are selling, the only thing people are interested in is: themselves.  Selfish shellfish the lot of them.  And look what you have to market!    All you want to do is let them know how wonderful you are.  Or, how wonderful your product is.  It is all about them isn’t it?

And, just so you know, “Shellfish” is a euphemism.  Replace as applicable.

It’s almost like being a potential customer gives them the right to think about themselves.  As if it really matters what your product can do for them.  Fake Grimlock was right.  “BECAUSE WANT. BECAUSE GREED.”  Grimlock knows the score, he said: “EVERYONE CARE ABOUT SELF FIRST.”  But Grimlock also said: “WITHOUT A THEM THERE NO COMMUNICATE. IT JUST OTHER WORD END IN “ATE”.”

You have to SELL to these selfish, self-obsessed, egocentric, narcissistic, did-I-say-selfish? prospects.  So you had better start speaking their language.

Me? No, You!

Yes you.  This is about you isn’t it.  Not those selfish shellfish, those parsimonious prawns.  This is about how you can effectively email market to even the most self-centred customers on the list.  Because believe it or not, they are entitled to be that little bit selfish.  They have all the power.  They, know that they have something you want, but you have to convince them that they want what you have.

Those miserly mussels.

For prospects to buy from you, they have to believe that your product is a necessity.  They just can’t live without your product in their greedy little lives.  Nobody doubts your belief in your own product.  But you are not the one buying it.  You aren’t the one shelling out.  So let’s start again.

Isn’t it all just “you you you”?

Not so selfish shellfish

You need to get in the habit of talking about them.  Why do they need this product of yours?  Do they need the sharp edge of your brand new scraper to keep their under-shells clean?  Will the new metallic edge keep their pincers razor sharp?  What benefit will your new fantangleberry have to them?  This is the important question.

Despite the amount of impulsive buyers you may believe are out there. the majority of customers need to be able to see themselves using your product.  And, if you are a B2B supplier, the financial director is not likely to buy a singing abacus for his accounts department.  Although that would be fun to have around the office.  Make sure, when you market your product, that your email or pitch is all about how their lives will be forever improved by your product.  The last thing you want to send is something entirely irrelevant.

Know your target market

I know we bang on about targeting, or segmenting a lot.  But there is a reason for it.  Let’s look at it this way.  If you are sending irrelevant emails to a customer in effect you are wasting their time.  You might get away with it the first time, but if you keep sending inappropriate content to them, then eventually they will unsubscribe.  Yes, the shellfish may mark you as SPAM.  They do not like their time being wasted.

Those stingy shrimp.

Not everyone has time to sit and read everything.  My own trash is filled with unopened emails with subject lines such as: “Get beach bod into these bikini’s this summer”.  Trust me, nobody wants to see that.  But the point is, it was a wasted opportunity.  I might have remembered their company if they had sent me something relevant and exciting.  Like a Terminator onesie.  Or an all expenses paid paintball trip (just in case anyone reading is currently working on their Christmas list).

Something for nothing

All of our selfish selves like a little something for free once in awhile don’t we?  When that woman in the tabard is wandering around Tesco’s with the samples tray, whether it is something really tasty, or a Marmite stuffed grape – you can’t help but give it a go.  Even if only out of morbid curiosity.  You might forget the brand of the yeast-extract-and-fruit combo, but if it is something  enjoyable, you will look again at the label.

And now they have your attention.  So how are you going to stuff a grape into your email?

Creating an info-graphic might be easier.  But not just any old thing.  It has to be relevant to both your customer and your product.  If you are an Indian restaurant, a downloadable PDF of your current menu might be a good idea.  A downloadable blow-by-blow account of the Tiddlywinks Championship final in Skegness may be less appropriate.  Your downloadable guide, e-book or info-graphic has to be relevant to the market.  More importantly it has to be useful to the prospect.  Because remember, it is all about them.

Those prejudiced periwinkles.

Wrapping up

Selling doesn’t begin with your product or service, it ends with it.  Changing hands.  Opening accounts.  They all occur when the customer is significantly wooed and courted.  When those mercenary molluscs (yes I know it is starting to stretch a little) have their hands on your product, then they will find out how wonderful your product is.  At that point, it will all be about you.  But until then we should start again.

Isn’t it all just “them them them”?